SpringSummer Chapter 2: Smith On Leave

SpringSummer

Chapter 2: Smith On Leave

“We Mr. Smith will not be here today,” Thomas Weldon announced to the man who seated himself across the table.

Walter McVey studied the man across from him. He was a few years older than Walter and smaller in stature but they shared a lot of Irish features. Thin skin, round heads, rounded noses that have grown bulbous, they would have blended in at each others family reunions. They even lost their hair in a similar pattern-- frontal recession concluding with a tuft and similar scraggly crowns.

" Is this Bilderberger week?” McVey asked half jokingly.

Weldon smiled. "It is not but I suspect it's something like that."

McVey paused and said in an observational way, "You guys always have plenty to talk about. Excuse me if I feel like a wallflower."

Weldon turned serious. "It's Trig Dynamics. There is never an Isosceles for very long. That's why love triangles are so fragile. But you have become our hypotenuse, my friend."

"Did you major in bullshit or horseshit?” Walter McVey asked with mock sincerity.

Weldon chuckled. "Accounting is my specialty. I take safety in numbers."

“So, Mr. Smith liked your depreciation formulas and ask you to construct a depletion allowance that would keep America safe from foreign aggression."

Weldon shot Walter an expression a high school teacher might reserve for a loudmouth pupil who just called Shakespeare “dumb." “I retired from the IRS,” Weldon recited mechanically. “Then I went into consulting. It was there that Mr. Smith made his acquaintance. He has opened a lot of doors for me. He has answered questions no one else could have answered. He has shown me things I never would've seen on my own.”

“You talking secret handshake?" Walter McVey asked sincerely.

“Handshakes plural." Weldon replied smugly.

With that Weldon shifted the topic to John Joseph, the Eclectic Party and Mississippi. “I have seen the Eclectic Party game plan. They want to use hacks to win a few elections but their long-term goal is to displace one of the two major parties."

“Which one?"

“Probably the Republicans but could be the Dems. They believe they can get the number three party to merge with the Eclectics. Of course by that time they will call themselves the Progressive Party.”

“Why do they insist on calling themselves progressive when it's just rehashed libertarianism?"

“Joseph, the old man, says Progressives don't deserve that label. He calls them retrogressive."

“Bloom is anything but libertarian.”

“No, but then again, Joseph isn't ready to challenge the big boys. He is friendly with the president and wants to see him re-elected. He is not necessarily chummy with the rest of the Republicans, especially the vice president. Have you met John Chissel?”

“Walter McVey shook his head."

“He's a good man. He shares our values. He's one of the few Republicans I would ever vote for."

“Does Bloom think he has a snowball's chance?”

“No. But he's shrewder than he's made out to be. He will run as the Eclectic, get national exposure, take a few votes away from the Democratic candidate and then switch over to the Dems after the election. Then he'll grumble about the wacky Eclectics, say if you mea culpas for helping to re-elect Walker, and then gear up for the Democratic nomination. It's all scripted."

“Do you think John Joseph will run for president?" Walter McVey asked sincerely.

“Maybe someday. But in four years his party will probably run Eva Marie Taffy. Which is why they are trying so hard to dress up Mississippi."

“By legalizing drugs?"

“By pouring a ton of money into the state. By inflating test scores and income statistics and employment stats. Joseph has broken ground on the world's largest shopping mall just off I-20 and he will open as many as nine sports stadia strung along I-55.”

“And we can stop him?"

“Why would we? Mississippi might just be his downfall. The Josephs might pour in their cash and if these things start to bleed red ink, they'll pour in more and more and then there's a scandal here scandal there and boom! The disease strikes when the host is weak."

“Walter McVey shifted in his seat and chose his words carefully. “I'm not asking this question myself. Let's just say there's another person in this room and he wants to pose a question.”

“A hypothetical question from a hypothetical person? I can provide a hypothetical answer if that's what he wants."

Walter McVey paused, leaned forward and crossed his hands on the table.”Hypothetically, can we be a little more forceful?"

Weldon shifted in his seat and started to answer and then paused and started over. His face grew red and he said in a forced whisper, “You people just don't get it...”

Walter's interest froze at the infliction of the term "you people." Did he mean DEA, narcs in general, cops in general?”You people” was never an inviting term.

“... The last thing we want to do is make John Joseph a martyr. Hell, we got a national holiday for a plagiarizing preacher thanks to James Earl Ray. Even if John Joseph fell victim to an accident, it would raise all sorts of conspiracy theories. Capitalism could use a martyr and we're not giving them one."

“You got more patience than our hypothetical friend.”

For the first time since Walter McVey started coming to these meetings, someone was raising his voice.”Patience! It's all about patience! You people don't have any damn patience!” Weldon bellowed.

Weldon arose, removed a bottle of water from a dorm fridge and returned to the table. He seated himself as he twisted off the cap and then took a big schlook. He continued his sermon.

“Brute force has its place but not like promoting one textbook that extols the merits of the Great Society. I reject the primacy of bureaucracy nonsense that the Josephs blather about. This idea that bureaucracy is an unconscious impulse, that we're all bureaucrats at heart and we want to waste people's time because that is what we are programmed to do. It makes me want to scream.

“I do support what the Josephs call the bureaucratic agenda. What is wrong with an elite, educated group of compassionate people nudging the less fortunate in the right direction? What's wrong with that?”

Walter McVey was unsure if he was expected to answer the questions. At any rate Thomas Weldon stood up before he could respond. “I have had some intestinal problems recently. I got to cut that short."

He stood up and took small, quick steps toward the exit.”Patience!” He grumbled as he turned the doorknob. “Patience. Patience. Patience.”